The Hottest Evil Albinos: Best Friends?
by Crystal Alethia
Summary: Dilandau Albatou of Escaflowne and Yami Bakura of Yu Gi Oh are best friends. Can't you just picture it?
1. What Do You Want To Do?

Hi! I'm writing this because I'm bored.  
  
This is a short story of a friendship between two tall, sexy, evil albinos. Drum roll please!  
  
~drum roll~  
  
DILANDAU ALBATOU AND YAMI BAKURA!  
  
~Cheers from a large group of fangirls (and a few fanguys -_-;) outside her window~  
  
~closes curtains~  
  
I myself Love Lord Dilandau of Tenkuu no Escaflowne, and I know that Silver Reflection, a close friend of mine, loves Yami Bakura and Ryou of Yu-Gi- Oh!. I'm bored so I figured: Why not write a fanfiction of Dilly and Baki.  
  
Dilandau and Bakura: Don't call us that!  
  
Crystal Alethia: CAENTE! Caente chicos ahora por favor! Aye caramba! (Translation: SHUT UP! Shut up boys now please!)  
  
CA: I love Spanish.  
  
Silver Reflection: Konnichiwa!  
  
CA: SR, you look so nice today!  
  
SR: Arigatou gozaimasu!  
  
CA: I was just introdusing this short story.  
  
SR: About the multiverses two hotest, evil albinos out there?  
  
CA: ~nods~  
  
SR: I'll get the popcorn. ~walks into the kitchen and you can hear a microwave and popping~  
  
CA: SR makes great popcorn.  
  
SR: POPCORN! ~holds up bowl filled with perfect, buttery popcorn~  
  
~Dilly and Baki grab a handfull and start munching~  
  
Dilandau and Bakura: No Yaoi!  
  
CA: Of course not. Good clean friendship between two people of the male gender. I feel uncomfortable writing lemons...  
  
D and B: But no Yaoi, right?  
  
CA: CAENTE!  
  
Dilandau: MOREO!  
  
Bakura: AH HA HA HA!  
  
SR: CALM DOWN!  
  
~Silence. A few crickets chirp~  
  
CA: Before I forget...  
  
DISCALIMER: I do no own Tenkuu No Escaflowne, Dilandau Albatou, Yu-Gi-Oh!, Ryou, Bakura, or Monopoly. ^^  
  
***  
  
A 15 year old young man sat on a leather coutch playing with a lighter. He wasn't lighting anything on fire, just watching it produce fire.  
  
"Having fun?" asked a tall poofy, silver haired young man.  
  
"You wouldn't believe," Replied the silver haired boy on the coutch, grinning.  
  
"Stealing Millenium Items is amusing too, you know."  
  
"You mean like the Millenium Engagement Ring? The Millenium Jig-saw Puzzle? The Milenium Di.-"  
  
"Yeah yeah. Shut up."  
  
"Millenium Eyeball, Millenium Mermaid Scale."  
  
"Yeah yeah. Shut up."  
  
"Don't tell me what to do, Bakura!"  
  
"Don't be annoying!"  
  
"ANNOYING?!" Dilandau drew his sword. "Vous offense moi-même! Nous se battre contre! Aux mort! En guard!"  
  
"I didn't know you could speak French, Dilandau?"  
  
"Neither did I."  
  
"Cool." Bakura said.  
  
They sat down on the coutch.  
  
"So. What do you wanna' do?" Bakura asked.  
  
"I dunno. What do you wanna' do?"  
  
"Well... What do you wanna' do?"  
  
"I don't know, what do you wanna' do?"  
  
"Look, Dil, first I say, "what we gonna do?" and then you say, "what you wanna do?", they I say, "what we gonna do?", you say "what you wanna do?", "what you gonna do", "what you wanna" - let's do something!  
  
"Okay. What you wanna do?" Dilandau asked.  
  
"There you go again. The same once again!  
  
"I've got it! This time, I've really got it." Dilandau said excitedly.  
  
"So you got it. So what we gonna do?" They sat on the coutch and thought about it. "So... What do you wanna' do?" Bakura asked.  
  
"I don't know... Oy! Don't start that again!" Dilandau found a board game lying on the table. "Let's play Monopoly!"  
  
"Okay!"  
  
They set up the board and started playing. 


	2. Monopoly The Wrong Way

Disclaimer: I do not own Dilandau Albatou Escalflowne, Bakura or Yu Gi Oh although I wish I did, I'd keep Dilandau, and I'd give Bakura to Silver Reflection. I also do not own Monopoly. That belongs to Parker Brothers. It's The Parker Brothers Original Trading Game.  
  
Dilandau: I hate playing Monopoly with him! He cheats!  
  
Bakura: I do not!  
  
Dilandau: Do so!  
  
Bakura: Do not!  
  
Dilandau: Do not!  
  
Bakura: Do so!  
  
Dilandau: Ha!  
  
Bakura: @#$&!  
  
CA: Whoa! Language!  
  
SR: Shall I get the soap?  
  
CA: One more chance...  
  
Bakura: ~gulp~  
  
CA: Enjoy the show folks!  
  
***  
  
The Monopoly board lay in the corner smoking. Houses and Hotels were strewn about the floor and furniture. The Monopoly Money was everywhere, some of it ashes. The pieces were in different places, while the Chance and Community Chest cards were either burnt or laying everywhere. The property cards were in two messy groups. Wanna' know what happened?  
  
FLASHBACK  
  
Dilandau sat on one side of the coffee table while Bakura sat on the other side. Dilandau read the instructions carefully out loud to remind both of them of the rules.  
  
"Each player is given $1,500 divided as follows: Two $500 - Two $100 - Two $50 - Six $20 - Five $10 - Five $5 - Five $1.00. All remaining money goes to the Bank. You got that Bakura?" Dilandau handed out the money.  
  
"You be the Banker, I'll be the Real Estate Agent."  
  
"There is no Real Estate Agent!"  
  
"I'll be the person who hands out the deeds!"  
  
"That's the Banker's job. And they're not 'Real Estate Agents' they're Auctioneers."  
  
"You'll be busy with money!"  
  
"Fine! Let's start." They started playing. It went well for a while.  
  
"1-2-3-4-5 Boardwalk." Bakura said landing on Boardwalk.  
  
"I own that! Pay up!"  
  
"But you have four houses and a hotel on that! And you own Park Place too!"  
  
"That makes it $7400.00. Pay up."  
  
"I don't have that much money!" Bakura looked over to the tray, which held the money. "I'll just have to get a loan..."  
  
"There are no loans!" Dilandau said seeing Bakura reach over a grab some of the Monopoly Money from the bank.  
  
"Okay. This is a robbery then. Stick 'em up."  
  
"You can't steal!" Dilandau picked up the instructions. "See! No where does it say you can steal money!"  
  
"It doesn't say you can't, either." Bakura said grinning.  
  
"You're cheating! Admit defeat!" Dilandau ordered.  
  
"I will not!"  
  
"Fine! Then I put all the Houses and all the Hotels on Park Place. That makes your rent a million zillion dollars!" Dilandau said pushing all the Houses and Hotels onto the tiny square.  
  
"WHAT?! TAKE THAT!" Bakura threw all his money at Dilandau, then picked up the bank's money and threw it at Dilandau.  
  
"Stop messing up the game! STOP CHEATING!"  
  
"NO!"  
  
"I REFUSE TO PLAY WITH A CHEATER!"  
  
"FINE! Then I win!"  
  
"WHAT?! NO!" Dilandau picked up all the Houses and Hotels and threw them at Bakura.  
  
"OW! That hurts, retard!"  
  
"RETARD?!" Dilandau screamed. He pulled out his lighter and lit the Monopoly Board on fire.  
  
"THAT'S THE ENGLISH EDITION! HOW DARE YOU!" Dilandau simply stuck out his tongue.  
  
Crystal Alethia, who we'll call Crystal, and Silver Reflection, who we'll call Alora walked into the house with some groceries. Crystal dropped the groceries.  
  
"WHAT IN HEAVEN'S NAME IS GOING ON HERE?!?!" she hollered. Dilandau and Bakura turned their heads. Bakura was holding Dilandau by the scruff of his collar and Dilandau's hands where around Bakura's neck.  
  
"You will both explain yourselfs!" Alora demanded putting the groceries down and glaring at the two boys.  
  
After the explaination...  
  
"Dilandau, you'll go into the attic and stay there until I come and get you," Crystal instructed.  
  
"Bakura, you'll go to the basement and stay there until I come and get you," Alora instructed.  
  
"After we come to get you, we will watch you with eagle eyes as you come into the living room and clean this mess until it is better than it was before," Angela said with crossed arms.  
  
"After this room is imaculate, Dilandau, you'll go to the basement, Bakura, you'll go to the attic, until we come to get you." Alora said with her hands on her hips.  
  
"You will then have dinner, a bathroom break, and then you will both do to the dishes." Crystal said.  
  
"Do you understand?!" Alora asked firmly. The boys nodded.  
  
"To the bathroom. Then either the attic or the basement. NOW MARCH!"  
  
***  
  
Hope you liked it! I think I fixed the paragraph problem... 


	3. The New Monopoly Board

Dilandau: Attics and basements are supposed to be scary, right?  
  
CA: Well. I guess.  
  
Bakura: With all the spiders and all the rats, and the howling wind and then darkness and the dust.  
  
Dilandau: Spiders?  
  
CA: You're not afraid are you?  
  
Dilandau: 'Course not.  
  
SR: Good. 'Cause there are lots in the attic and basement.  
  
D and B: ~gulp~  
  
DISCLAIMER: Everything in the story, I do not own. Except Crystal. That's me. ^^  
  
Warnings: Um... I throw Hotels at Bakura... He cheats...  
  
CA: Enjoy the show!  
  
***  
  
The boys stood by the sink washing and drying the dishes. The living room glistened and the ruined Monopoly game lay in the trash can. Alora sat in the clean living room watching TV, and Crystal was at the store buying a new Monopoly game. Once the dishes were washed, dryed, and put away, Dilandau and Bakura sat on either side of Alora. Crystal stepped through the door.  
  
"TA DA!" She held up the new Monopoly game smiling. The boys spun around and stared at the board with wide eyes.  
  
"It's back from the dead..." Dilandau said.  
  
"It's back to haunt us..." Bakura said.  
  
"No. It's back because I bought a new one. And it's going to be played for it's first time, now. Around the table everyone. Alora's banker."  
  
The TV was turned off and everyone sat around the table, Dilandau and Bakura slightly afraid.  
  
"No Houses or Hotels," Alora said handing out the money. The group nodded, and started playing.  
  
"1-2-3-4-5 Boardwalk," Bakura said.  
  
"Déjà vu..." Dilandau said with wide eyes.  
  
"$170.00 Bakura," Crystal said holding out her hand. Bakura looked down at his two $20.  
  
"Saaaaay... Alora. Could I get a loan from the bank?" he asked leaned towards her. Suddenly a Hotel hit Bakura in the head. "Ow! What the heck?!" He looked over to Dilandau who was chuckling. "How dare you!" Bakura said glaring at Dilandau.  
  
"Wasn't me," Dilandau said pointing to Crystal who sat there holding a handful of Hotels.  
  
"No cheating."  
  
"Make me." Crystal jumped out of her seat and headed towards Bakura, who yelped and jumped out of his chair and ran away. Dilandau grabbed Bakura's two $20s and added $130 and placed it on the side of the board Crystal sat. He handed the dice to Alora.  
  
"Your turn." Crystal was still chasing Bakura. Alora accepted the dice.  
  
"Thanks." Crystal was still chasing Bakura, throwing the little Hotels at him. Alora rolled the dice and moved the appropriate spaces.  
  
"OW! Look whose destroying the Monopoly game now!" Bakura hollered.  
  
"Caente! You cheater!" It was now Dilandau's turn. He moved his piece corresponding to the number that he rolled.  
  
"CRYSTAL! YOUR TURN!" Alora and Dilandau hollered.  
  
"Do it for me." She said with her hands around Bakura's neck.  
  
"Stop killing him," Alora said. Crystal let go of Bakura and walked over to her chair and rolled. Dilandau handed Bakura some money.  
  
"I love this game," Crystal said passing go and collecting $200.00 


	4. Clue: Classic Detective Game

CA: And I'm back! I was reading this and I realized that it was better than I thought, so I felt inspired...  
  
Disclaimer: I don't know Yu-Gi-Oh!, Escaflowne, any characters from those anime shows, Monopoly, Clue, or own my own country, although I'm in the process of... But not really.  
  
CA: Enjoy the show! Or else.  
  
Dilandau: Or else what?  
  
CA: I never planed after 'Or Else'. Sorry.  
  
Dilandau: You disapoint me.  
  
***  
  
The new Monopoly Game lay in the games cupboard, intact. On the table now, was a nice, non-violent game of Clue... Er... eh... heh heh heh...  
  
"I suspect Miss Scarlet, in the Dinning Room, with the Candle Stick," Bakura said.  
  
"You suggest Miss. Scarlet because I'M Miss Scarlet!" Crystal exclaimed.  
  
"I do not! I'm playing the friggin' game! Don't get huffy, and prove me wrong!" Crystal sighed and held up a card, The Dinning Room. Then Dilandau held up another card. Miss Scarlet. Alora held up the last card, The Candle Stick. Everyone marked down that it wasn't those three. Crystal picked up the die and rolled and moved her token. On Dilandau's turn he moved into the Billiards Room and made a suggestion.  
  
"I suggest Colonel Mustard, in the Billiards Room, with the Revolver."  
  
"But you're Colonel Mustard," Bakura said.  
  
"Doesn't mean I can't suspect myself." Alora held up one card. Dilandau nodded slowly and marked it off on his card. Bakura and Crystal didn't have any of those three cards. "I accuse Colonel Mustard, In the Billiards Room, with the Lead Pipe," Dilandau stated, picked up the Confidential Case File and looked at the three cards. He grinned and lay them down on the table. "I win!"  
  
"Again," Alora said. Bakura surreptitiously pulled out his lighter and set the board on fire.  
  
"BAKURA! YOU SORE LOOSER!" Crystal hollered when she saw the board on fire. "I HATE YOU! THAT WAS MY OWN CLUE GAME! YOU ARE SO BUYING ME A NEW ONE!"  
  
"I can't stand it when that Scar Face wins! He gloats about it for weeks!!!!!"  
  
"GO BUY ME A NEW CLUE BOARD!"  
  
"DON'T CALL ME SCAR FACE!"  
  
"GO BUY ME A NEW CLUE BOARD!"  
  
"CALM DOWN!" Alora hollered.  
  
"I CALL YOU WHATEVER THE HELL I WANT TO, YOU HIDEOUS MASS OF STUPIDITY!"  
  
"YOU'RE GONNA DIE!"  
  
"KILLING LATER! BUYING A NEW CLUE BOARD NOW!"  
  
"CALM DOWN!!" Dilandau drew his sword and Bakura pulled out his Millennium Ring.  
  
"IF YOU DON'T GO TO THE STORE NOW, I WILL BE THE ONE KILLING!!!" Crystal yelled taking the crispy board and hitting both boys over the head repeatedly. Alora walked out of the room, grabbed all the hotels and houses and shot them at Crystal, Dilandau, and Bakura, who were fighting.  
  
"OW!" The three of them shouted. Angela ran into the kitchen and grabbed the dish washing hose and pulled it out as far as it would go and turned the tap on. She shot water at Alora, Bakura, and Dilandau. They screamed and came after Angela with various board game pieces and hit her with them. She continued to shoot them with water. Bakura grabbed the dish washing liquid and poured it into Dilandau's hair, who responded by rubbing Bakura's eyes with soapy hands. Bakura screamed in rage, and pain.  
  
"MY EYES!"  
  
"MY HAIR!"  
  
"MY BOARD GAME!"  
  
"MY NEW OUTFIT!" They all stopped their fighting and complained about how they were eternally injured, until someone came up with a brilliant idea.  
  
"Let's clean up this mess," Alora said calmly. "But first we should wash the soap out of Bakura's eyes, and out of Dilandau's hair. Then we'll clean up, change, and go buy a new Clue Board."  
  
And so it was.  
  
"Hey look! 13 Dead End Drive!"  
  
"That looks like it'll agree with us."  
  
"And we should get this."  
  
"It's a pack of cards..."  
  
"Exactly."  
  
"They're still flammable."  
  
"Yes. But... SHUT UP!"  
  
"Twister!"  
  
"Twister?"  
  
"Twister?!"  
  
"Twister!"  
  
"Eh heh heh heh heh heh heh excellent." 


End file.
